this little light of mine
In 2008, I flew back home from Upstate NY after surviving my first semester at ESM. My first semester was brutal. The combination of extreme talent, high expectations and drastically different weather. Looking back the later of which made the greatest impact.
The collective and individual talent level of the students was unparalleled to none. The expectations for students, both musically and academically, were set equally high. But this Texan was accustomed to the sun shining throughout the year.
On the plane ride back to Rochester, I sat next to a couple, and they struck up a conversation with me. I told them I was from Texas and going back to ESM. They got curious. They asked me if the weather had impacted me or my studies. I didn’t understand what they meant but I was certain something wasn’t normal. I just received my grades, and was shocked by the results. Up to this point in my life, I never struggled to accomplish anything I set my sights on.
They explained that I might be dealing with “Seasonal Affective Disorder.” They lived in the south and their daughter went to college in the north. She struggled with school until she got diagnosed with SAD. She began treatment: light therapy and vitamin supplements—and her disposition changed immeasurably. They challenged me to get diagnosed when I got back to school.
The first thing I did when I got back was visit the school nurse. I learned the University had a sunlamp available for student appointments at the River Campus. I remember the feeling of immense joy after experiencing my first light therapy session. After a few weeks of riding the bus for light treatments, I convinced my dad to get me this very machine.
SAD is a type of depression related to the change of seasons. I have learned its onset occurs for me anytime there is prolonged cloudiness or limited sunlight.
Using this machine helped me get off academic probation. It helped me press forward and graduate from the best music school in the world. It has served me well for over a decade. ☀️ Today, it shined its light for the last time... for me and one of my colleagues.🙏🏻 This little light of mine . . . saved my life.❤
